Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Who I am today.
Do you ever feel like everything that has ever happened to you in life is scary because you've gotten so much that you've asked for?
I like to think my life is perfect because I do have everything I've ever wanted, everything I've ever needed and everything that I have is amazing. I'm not talking about just material things, I'm talking about life experience, the love of a great family, good friends who are there for me, someone that loves me for who I am, and I have all the confidence in the world that if I were to die tomorrow I know I've already lived life to the fullest!
There will always be things in life for a person to see, experience, and feel for. But you can't do it all, don't let that discourage you...Do what makes you happy, don't fear those people who will think your crazy or weird for being who you are.
Life is hard to live sometimes, when your heart is in pain because that guy that you thought was the one you were going to love the rest of your life; doesn't care about you anymore, and he moved on....Or when you have to let go of your best friend because you see that she's heading down a road that will ruin your life and her's...When you pack up your whole bedroom and move to another state to begin your dreams of becoming who you want to be, and you have to leave all of your friends and family...When you meet someone that tells you, your doing everything in your life wrong and you see that they are right....When you get on a plane and go half way across the world to learn about fashion but you end up learning who you are, what your capable of and that your life is completely different that it was last year.
I realized the other day that I'm not the girl I use to be...I'm better. I let go of one of the hardest heartbreaks that I will probably ever go through. I let go of my best friend who I use to have so much fun with, but I had to grow up. I moved away from home, to a place that I had never even thought of living in my whole life, just to go to school. I have lived on my own for almost two years now, I only get to see my family and hometown friends about seven times a year instead of everyday. I met someone who pointed out to me that I wasn't who I thought I was, and I couldn't accept it, until now. And five weeks ago I got on a plane to fly half way across the world, even when I had just felt like I was comfortable in my new home (Indianapolis). I can't believe how I'm feeling right now...I want to take every risk! I want to climb every mountain in my life! I'm not scared to love again! I'm not scared to be hurt again! I'm not afraid of what people think about me! I'm confident in everything that I will ever say, ever do, and ever become! I am me and always will be! <3
I like to think my life is perfect because I do have everything I've ever wanted, everything I've ever needed and everything that I have is amazing. I'm not talking about just material things, I'm talking about life experience, the love of a great family, good friends who are there for me, someone that loves me for who I am, and I have all the confidence in the world that if I were to die tomorrow I know I've already lived life to the fullest!
There will always be things in life for a person to see, experience, and feel for. But you can't do it all, don't let that discourage you...Do what makes you happy, don't fear those people who will think your crazy or weird for being who you are.
Life is hard to live sometimes, when your heart is in pain because that guy that you thought was the one you were going to love the rest of your life; doesn't care about you anymore, and he moved on....Or when you have to let go of your best friend because you see that she's heading down a road that will ruin your life and her's...When you pack up your whole bedroom and move to another state to begin your dreams of becoming who you want to be, and you have to leave all of your friends and family...When you meet someone that tells you, your doing everything in your life wrong and you see that they are right....When you get on a plane and go half way across the world to learn about fashion but you end up learning who you are, what your capable of and that your life is completely different that it was last year.
I realized the other day that I'm not the girl I use to be...I'm better. I let go of one of the hardest heartbreaks that I will probably ever go through. I let go of my best friend who I use to have so much fun with, but I had to grow up. I moved away from home, to a place that I had never even thought of living in my whole life, just to go to school. I have lived on my own for almost two years now, I only get to see my family and hometown friends about seven times a year instead of everyday. I met someone who pointed out to me that I wasn't who I thought I was, and I couldn't accept it, until now. And five weeks ago I got on a plane to fly half way across the world, even when I had just felt like I was comfortable in my new home (Indianapolis). I can't believe how I'm feeling right now...I want to take every risk! I want to climb every mountain in my life! I'm not scared to love again! I'm not scared to be hurt again! I'm not afraid of what people think about me! I'm confident in everything that I will ever say, ever do, and ever become! I am me and always will be! <3
The Lyrics to my Life...
"No Boundaries"
Seconds, hours, so many days
You know what you want, but how long can you wait
Every moment lasts forever
When you feel you've lost your way
And what if my chances were already gone
I started believing that I could be wrong
But you gave me one good reason
To fight and never walk away
So here I am still holding on
With every step you climb another mountain
With every breath it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one place
Just when you think the road is going no where
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries..
There are no boundaries
I fought to the limit, to stand on the edge
What if today is as good as it gets
Don't know where the future's heading
But nothing's gonna bring me down
Jumped every bridge
Run every line
I risk being safe
I always knew why
I always knew why
So here I am still holding on
With every step you climb another mountain
With every breath it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one place
When you think the road is going no where
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries above and beneath you
Break every rule 'cause there's nothing between you and your dreams
With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one place
Just when you think the road is going no where
Just when you almost gave up everything
They take you by the hand
And show you that you can
'Cause there are no boundaries..
Seconds, hours, so many days
You know what you want, but how long can you wait
Every moment lasts forever
When you feel you've lost your way
And what if my chances were already gone
I started believing that I could be wrong
But you gave me one good reason
To fight and never walk away
So here I am still holding on
With every step you climb another mountain
With every breath it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one place
Just when you think the road is going no where
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries..
There are no boundaries
I fought to the limit, to stand on the edge
What if today is as good as it gets
Don't know where the future's heading
But nothing's gonna bring me down
Jumped every bridge
Run every line
I risk being safe
I always knew why
I always knew why
So here I am still holding on
With every step you climb another mountain
With every breath it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one place
When you think the road is going no where
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries above and beneath you
Break every rule 'cause there's nothing between you and your dreams
With every step you climb another mountain
Every breath it's harder to believe
You make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one place
Just when you think the road is going no where
Just when you almost gave up everything
They take you by the hand
And show you that you can
'Cause there are no boundaries..
(There are no boundaries)
There are no boundaries..
There are no boundaries..
There are no boundaries..
(There are no boundaries)
There are no boundaries..
There are no boundaries
There are no boundaries..
There are no boundaries
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Life gets hard sometimes...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOVP47sau1I
This song reminds me that life gets tough, but there's nothing wrong with just sitting down and taking the time to gather your thoughts...then go out and over come your fears!
You have to let go, if you ever want to be happy again...
For the past couple years I have been through so much. I never realized I was so capable of making my dreams come true. Now I'm living in Europe and going to a different country every weekend, just for fun! Study Abroad was something that I thought would look good on my resume, never once did I think I would be changing as a person as much as I have also.
When I first got to college it took everything I had to stay there and not move back home. I missed my life in Missouri everyday for that whole first year...I still do miss my hometown all the time because my family lives there and the house I grew up in is where I can completely be myself. Now I've been in Europe for over a month I really miss Indianapolis...I didn't realize how much I grew up last year, until I came over seas and saw that I was a lot stronger than I imagined.
Going through a life changing experience, such as studying abroad, over seas, for 3 months...Opens your eyes, and makes you look at things differently.
There are still so many things in my life that I am trying to get over and move on with, things that happened years ago...I just haven't had the courage to take the pain and deal with the heartache. Now I look back and see what I've accomplished recently, and I know that I can move on with my life...
Wouldn't trade it for the world...
Before I came to Italy I honestly didn't know if I really wanted to go on this trip. I had a feeling that once I got over here, something wasn't going to be right. I kept asking myself if it was just my fear of being gone for 3 months and putting my life in Indy on hold...If I was just scared to be so far away from my family, knowing if something happened they couldn't just be there in 5 hours or less.
I still keep wondering what that feeling in the pit of my stomach was...now that it is almost week 6 of me living in Milan, I think I'm starting to see why I got such a bad feeling.
You see, when you move to a foreign country things aren't comfortable like they are back home...Nobody hardly speaks your language, the food tastes different, everyone dresses and looks different, things we may find rude back in the United States, isn't necessarily rude here...Talk about an eye opening experience.
I still haven't found my comfort zone here in Italy and I don't really think that I ever will...while I'm over here studying, site seeing, shopping, and enjoying such an amazing opportunity...I can't help but think about everything that I am missing back at home.
You never realize how precious your hometown is until you move 5 or so hours away from it, just to study fashion and see what else is out there...But you really don't know how amazing your culture is, until you see how much harder it is to live in another cultures society. Everything that we take for granted in America is what's so hard to come by over seas. As time goes on and on, I keep realize how much I have back in America and how fortunate I really am. I would never give up the life I was given back home.
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